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SEMAH is an online conduit for resources to  help build bridges to safer communities especially those that are not well served. We have a special focus on the Muslim and inter-faith communities.

YOUTH & ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

This page was created by youth volunteers of SEMAH, Inc.

 

To teens who are in a relationship, it may be hard to recognize that domestic violence does occur because we relate it more to adults.

 

Well guess what? It happens, in all communities. Yes, even in the Muslim community. And though you may not really want to believe that teenagers can be in abusive relationships, especially teenagers who are not supposed to be dating. You may not be in an abusive relationship, but a friend of yours could be. They may not be able to cry for help but you can help them by pointing out to them the problems and getting help.

Listed below are a few warning signs. You are in an abusive relationship if your partner:

  • Is jealous and possessive

  • Does not allow you to have other friends

  • Checks up on or threatens you

  • Is violent or has a history of fighting

  • Loses his/her temper quickly

  • Brags about mistreating others

  • Pressures you for sex

  • Is forceful or scary around sex

  • Thinks boys/girls are sex objects

  • Gets too serious about the relationship too fast

  • Blames you for his/her anger, says you provoked it, pressed his/her buttons, made him/her do it, led him/her on

  • Says the reason for all past failed relationships was the other person

  • Believes that guys should be in control and powerful and that girls should be passive and submissive

  • Threatens to hurt themselves or you if a breakup occurs

  • Won't accept or honor your decision to end the relationship

  • Attempts to manipulate or place guilt by saying, if you really loved me, you would

  • Abuses drugs or alcohol/pressures you to take them

Questions to ask yourself

Direct questions to ask yourself

  • How are things at home?

  • What does a typical argument look like in your family? Does one person usually win?
     

Indirect questions to ask yourself

  • Is someone hurting me?

  • Am I frightened by my partner's temper?

  • Have I ever been hurt, threatened or intimidated by my partner?

  • Am I afraid that my partner might hurt me? In the past have I been afraid of being hurt?

  • Do I think (getting a job, talking to a counselor, having someone else talk with my partner, etc.) will put me in danger at home?

  • Do I feel safe in my home?
     

You don't have to feel alone, you can check our resources section and call us for help. Remember that God loves everyone and will help those who seek help.

 

We utilized information, with permission, from the brochure entitled, "Are you in a Healthy Relationship" produced by California Assembly member Rebecca Cohen's office (District 24).

 

The brochure is based on From STAND! Against Domestic Violence Next Door Solutions to Violence's Dating Abuse Teen Education (DATE) Program. Both Assembly member Rebecca Cohen and Next Door Solutions have our deepest gratitude for this help.

 

Help Line Numbers


24-7 Line: 1-888-247-7717
Shelter against violent environments: 510-794-6055
California Youth Crisis Line: 1-800-843-5200

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